How to fail LPDP 101

Hello all, 

Long time no post but today I have the mood. 

Today gonna write about how to fail LPDP or any kind of scholarship I guess. Some other cases may happened miraculously, but some happened trough tears and blood to be enrolled in the scholars.

Well educated is almost all nowadays townsmen dream, not to mention also those came from rural area. I will make a disclaimer to delineate education here as a formal education. We will disregard education in tribesmen and isolated community or one of their kind. Even they are also grouped as skills and knowledge transfer, it may disrupt the topic today. 

Scholarship is a very tempting word to achieve, either to purely help the needy student to get a better education, as a reward for some accomplishment, or just a game of interest. 

I am one of a kind to be tempted by scholarship, since my 1st year. I refused to be one kind of Bidikmisi participant on college enrollment since I know in the worst case my parent still give me some fund and there are many student who need this scholarship. I decide to look for another way having that scholarship, yup its by accomplishment I did throughout my studies, and you guess I got the scholarship in my 4 semester after many bitter sweet trials. Well but those fail trials remain no lesson learnt to me. All that I counted as rejections (already get used to it). 

The story goes after some crumbling and re-crumbling life plan, the moment I should choose between going into the palm work aka getting money or stepping into the harsh-academician slavery was finally right on my face. It was on August 2019, I was sitting on Merauke's towsquare bench and had to drop the option. Having another degree with tight-scheduled time or back to my work plan. I am a parent-person who let them help me to choose between those two. While explaining all the worst case in both scenarios, Turns out they will take the risk and I dare to try LPDP, a scholarship opportunity to continue one's studies both inside or outside Indonesia. If I failed, all the perks of having financial aid will vanish and will have long bitter and full of pressure study path. 

Unlike other scholarship, somehow I felt this heavy in my chest. I foresaw more more my life plan will collapses if I follow this path. The time ticking fast, and my prediction went right. I went into the first test which decide where will I study, which is TOEFL test in ELTI. It was a rush hour, after graduation and move all my stuff to my temporary-flat and done at 17.45 while the test will start at 18.00. I am not at my 100%. the result? of course it was not as I expected, far lower than the simulation I did few months ago. The result led me to choose local university as my nearest hallway. On the following day easy document such free-drugs laboratory result and all academic document were pretty handy. While all documents ready you have to surpass the administration selection. Pretty confidence I surpassed, and it was. Okay next phase is kind of academic potency test, they have high criterion tho, but I always believe I above em all. Pretty confidence right? haha. 

30 days before the test. 

I got a project offer to work in mangrove for 10 days, in Semarang city along with Trias, Izzatul and Gary. There was a time when I think could it be possible I take this offer and take the test (LPDP) easy? Sure why not, and the decision is made, I took the project. Having high volume work, made my exercise book in my bag remain untouched. After the project finished I think I should take some short rest after this muddy project gulped my life energy. I took one week break without touching any books or work. My cocky mind told me that just doing a quick exercise can warmup your brain so chill, no need to rush buddy!. 

test day

I feel something different, really different. I found myself NOT GETTING NERVOUS. This is the weirdest thing since in every win-lose competition, I always feel like have extra energy when I get nervous. This time was different, no tremble at all!. Riding my motor in the parking lot everything seems okay, but not until I sit between bunch of white and black people, bringing their bunch of paper notes and readings while me only phone and sling bag on my chest. Suddenly my heart beating like sound of failure were banging inside me. Entering the computer room, my mind calmed, I saw classic problems in the screen which I believed I can solved it well. 

and my cockiness beyond God, rather call me Alnus you can call me Al-God

I finished the test less than 1 hours from the given time 3 hours

The result shown on the screen, just after you click finished the test and what was happen?
My score was unforgivable just for mysef it was 175 from 300, pathetic and I directly start my motor and went home with huge of regret

The 101 Lesson

1. Being cocky

2. Over confidence

3. Not well planned 

will be the trio which lead you to all failure in the world. 

Always remember Quran Luqman verse 18 

“And do not turn your nose up to people, nor walk pridefully upon the earth. Surely Allah does not like whoever is arrogant, boastful".

Hope my readers wont ended like me on their first trials, always had a lesson learn, and don't wait opportunity, but create them!